Since I’ve left the corporate world, I get this question A LOT…
“How did you know you were ready to leave?”
After 8 years in corporate, I felt like I was on a hamster wheel. Just going through life without actually going anywhere. I felt unfulfilled and unhappy in my career and had a burning need to do more.
That need was not to leave corporate to stay in corporate. It was a need to take a chance on myself for once.
On paper, I did all of the right things. Went to school, got good grades (some not so good), graduated and landed a job in corporate. At least, that’s what I was told the right things were. It took me a while but I learned that what you are told to do (which is societies way of convincing you what you THINK you want) vs. what you ACTUALLY want to do are two very, very different things.
Aside from me running Lavender + Pine full time, I wanted to share with you all some other reasons why I left corporate…
Before the pandemic (about 2 years) I began to seriously question things like why was I always anticipating the week to be over? Time is so limited and here I was wasting it looking forward to the week to end?!
Think about that for a second….
FIVE whole days spent waiting for TWO days and one of them is now labeled #SundayScaries?!
I was no longer excited to get to work early and if you know me, I’m ALWAYS early. I wasn’t motivated anymore, my drive was gone, I was negative and people noticed a change. I noticed a change. I lost my spark and stuck.
I was just going through the motions. Ugh–I hate that phrase. It even sounds depressing.
My job took me away from me.
I was working for everyone else, doing things for everyone else and not taking a second to think about what I wanted, what I needed.
Weight gain, stress, no sleep and intense anxiety created a spiral of negativity. My body was telling me something and I ignored the signs for way longer than I should have. Woof.
At this point I disliked more people than I could count because I was in such a bad place.
When you are unhappy you focus on the negative. You are no longer tolerable and your patience goes out the window.
I played the blame game for a long time and there were MANY contributing factors that amplified my negativity but at the end of the day I needed to make the decision to leave and hold myself accountable.
I’ve never been more in tune with my feelings than the day I realized I needed to quit–one year before I actually did.
I remember the day vividly. It was a gorgeous morning, my windows were down and I was sitting in traffic on i95 (for you out- of- towner’s, i95 is hells highway that will be under construction until the end of time). I remember staring at the cars bumper in front of me and then it hit me–like I was just pulled out of a deep hypnotic state. I had this visceral feeling of needing to get off this road to nowhere and turn the hell around.
That was my moment.
I didn’t read a life changing book, almost get hit by a bus or have a visit from the ghost of Christmas Future. It just happened. A year of feeling like crap rolled up to this moment and I.WAS.DONE.
The Universe smacked me upside the head in morning rush hour traffic and told me to hightail it out of there.
From that moment on I’ve been on a mission to take my tenacity and channel it into my business to make it a success.
It’s scary and risky but my fire was re-lit.
Leaving corporate after 10 years was NOT an easy decision to make. I was terrified and it was sad. It’s safe to say that I did love it for a long time, way longer than most. It was my first job out of college and I certainly learned a lot that I’m grateful for and have made lifelong friends there but it wasn’t for me anymore.
What it all boils down to is what you want and how you feel. Not your parents, not your partner, not your boss..YOU.
If your job is not fulfilling you, ask yourself why are you there? How does it make you feel? Am I present or in a fog? Do I spend my days happy or anticipating them to be over? If I leave my job, what’s the worst case scenario? What do I like to do? What do I want to do?
These are TOUGH questions to answer. It took me almost two years AND a pandemic to quit my job after that moment in my car. I went through hundreds of different scenarios, a whirlwind of emotions, weighed my pros and cons and took my decision very seriously.
At the end of the day, you know yourself better than anyone else.
If you are brought to a point where you wake up in the morning and dread the idea of spending 5 days and 40+ hours a week somewhere that pays your bills but doesn’t light you up, it may be time to take the wheel and turn that b*tch around.
Remember this: You are in control. No one else.